Top 5 Character Picks if you Suck at Smash Bros (and so do your friends)

 

Since the release of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate nearly a year ago, it has been a blood bath between friends in vying for the coveted top position as winner of matches and solicitor of strongly worded comments like, “you need to stop playing that character or so help me God our friendship is one ‘down b’ attack away from getting spiked into oblivion.”

If you’re anything like me, you’re just okay at the game, and if you’re lucky, your friends are just okay too. I find these following characters are often overlooked when it comes to winning matches by simply being sub-par at the game. Because these characters are so great, you could label them as a First Order Optimal (FOO) strategy, the least effort to power ratio in the game. It’s important to note these strategy’s are only effective when your friends are just as bad as you at the game, so tread carefully!

Learn more about FOO strategies in The Panic Mode Podcast — Episode 7: Complexity and Depth.

Without further ado, here are the top 5 Smash picks when you suck at Smash Bros (and so do your friends).

5. Bowser

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A gentle giant, Bowser is great for crowd control with his firey breath and huge hit box that becomes extra deadly when he charges a hefty side kick. 

Bowser’s side smash (left or right on the right stick, can be charged for greater damage).

Bowser’s side smash (left or right on the right stick, can be charged for greater damage).

He can also grab other characters and leap off the ledge with them, which results in instantaneous death for both parties, and is fun for absolutely no one.

Bowser’s side special (B + left or right on the left stick).

Bowser’s side special (B + left or right on the left stick).


4. Samus

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Two words here friends, charge attack. By the time you’ve finished charging that ultimate mega-blast with neutral ‘B’, you can save it for that critical moment when everyone else fighting at the other end of the platform forgets that you exist. At that point all you have to do is release. It’s that simple. Remember, your friends suck at this game too, so no one will ever jump over it. Like ever.

Samus’ neutral special (hold B while not moving).

Samus’ neutral special (hold B while not moving).


3. Isabelle

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She plants rockets in the ground that no one can see. SHE PLANTS ROCKETS IN THE GROUND THAT NO ONE CAN SEE. Especially on maps with elaborate floors. No one is watching the floor, they’re watching their characters get launched sky high while screaming “where the *&$% did that even come from.” You’re not here to make friends, you’re here to play Smash.

Isabelle’s down special (B + hold down on the left stick).

Isabelle’s down special (B + hold down on the left stick).


2. Villager

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Villager can be a little tricky to play when it comes to planting and growing trees. Really, it’s all in the timing of both growing the thing and chopping it down to wack a nearby player who gets too close. The strategy is to keep trying, because the crowd control is unreasonable and you’re going to land one of these suckers eventually. It’s only a matter of time.

Villager’s down special (B + hold down on the left stick).

Villager’s down special (B + hold down on the left stick).


 1. Piranha Plant

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The most underrated character of all time, Piranha Plant never fails. With an insane recovery and some solid ranged attacks that catch opponents off-guard when they’re too busy fighting each other, this character can take some damage and dish it out. The first step is to stand next to the edge of the platform, and the second and final step is to blow that little ball of spiky doom over your head for as long as it takes. Someone will hit it eventually on their way up or down or across. Whatever. They always do.

Piranha Plant’s neutral special (hold B while not moving).

Piranha Plant’s neutral special (hold B while not moving).

 
Shelby CarletonComment